Ambivalence

I know today what exactly an ambivalent feeling is.
When you've two equally tempting choices, when you know where your happiness is and where the others' happiness is, where you know what your priorities are but you're swayed away by other attractions, where you know what you want now or later, where you know perhaps whats more logical or rather ethical, where you know you can be close to who you love or you can be close to who you started to love, where you want to choose both but you have to choose either but you don't know which one of the two would make you happier!
I'd to make one such choice today. I chose what I should have or maybe I am making myself happy by saying that.
I chose my priority, my dream, my family, my love. I forgo some fun and joy, some wonderful friends and some could-have-been-crazy-times.
I am ambivalent because I know I will miss a lot of what I forgo but I know that I deserve what I chose , only for what I chose to be.
It is all about making choices, either good or bad, you decide. Or I would say, time would decide for me. Fate. Destiny. Has a hundered names.
Let' s wait and watch what it turns out to be.

PS Completely digressing from the topic. Communication can do wonders. Thank you J, for one such amazin talk tonite. I don't know what was special about it, there were too many things shared but it lifted a lot of weight somewhere! I think so :) Keep rocking!